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>> > >'IT ' S WEEKEND BREAK UPDATE WITH COLIN JOST AND ALSO MICHAEL CHE.
[CHEERS AS WELL AS PRAISE]> > > THANK YOU, THANK YOU EXTREMELY. MUCH. > > HI. >> EXCELLENT EVENING EVERYBODY. > > WELCOME TO “” WEEKEND UPDATE.””.
I'' M MICHAEL CHE. >> >'> I ' M COLIN JOST.
>> > > HEAD OF STATE TRUMP THE MANCH WHO STATED HE WOULD OWN THE SHUT DOWN.
DOESN'' T RESPECT THE PEOPLE THAT ARE UNPAID THAT TIN'' T AFFORD.
FOOD. HE'' S AIR BILLIONAIRE WHO.
CONTROLS ALL THE HAMBURGERS ON THE PLANET. AFTER HE WAS THROUGH HOLDING HIS HAMBURGER ORGY, HE MADE A NEW.
PROPOSITION TO END THE SHUT DOWN AND THAT WAS ESSENTIALLY YOU GIVE.
ME $5.7 BILLION AND I WILL PROVIDE YOU BACK THE DAYDREAMERS. AM I THE ONLY THAT ASSUMES IT SEEMS LIKE A CAPTIVE PROPOSITION? HIS DEFENSES ARE NOT ALSO REAL REGULATIONS. THEY ARE UNCLEAR ASSURES HE'' S PRODUCTION. I TRUST FUND An ASSURANCE FROM DONALD TRUMP AS MUCH AS R KELLY IN A.
CLAIR'' S BOUTIQUE. >> > > I CONCUR. THAT SPEECH SUCKED.FIRST OF ALL, HE DIDN ' T EVEN SAY. HI. HE SIMPLY STARTED CHATTING LIKE WE. WERE ALREADY TALKING.
AFTER THAT HE CLAIMED HE WOULD STOP HALF.
THE CRIMINAL OFFENSE WITH THE SLATS. THAT'' S A WALL SURFACE WITHOUT ALL THE. WALL SURFACE. LISTEN TO THAT, MEXICO. BEST OF LUCK TRYING TO FRACTURE THIS CODE. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO PERFORM, PASS YOUR MEDICINES AND LITTLE KID.
THROUGH THE SMALL SLATS? PICTURE YOU AIR COAST GUARD OR.
TSA OR ANY ONE OF THE THOUSANDS OF EMPLOYEES REALLY STOPPING CRIMINAL ACTIVITY.
FROM MEDICATIONS FROM GETTING INVOLVED IN THIS NATION AND YOU HAVEN'' T. BEEN PAID IN A MONTH. THE HEAD OF STATE DOESN'' T SAY SORRY.
OR DOESN'' T EVEN SAY HI AND SAYS WHAT Y ' ALL THINK OF SLATS?
>> > > THE OTHER BIG NEWS IS BUZZ FEED RELEASED A STORY THAT SAID. ROBERT MUELLER HAD PROOF OF TRUMP COMMITTING AN IMPEACHABLE.
CRIME. THE INFORMATION WERE SO SKETCHY EVEN.
MUELLER'' S GROUP WAS O.K., FAKE NEWS. HOW DISAPPOINTING WAS THAT. YOU UNDERSTAND THE NUMBER OF SUBURBAN MOMS.
HAD TO RETRACT THE DETAILS SAYING WE GOT HIM? THE WHITE HOME IS NOW CELEBRATING THAT MUELLER.
CONTESTED THIS WHILE THERE ARE LIKE 100 OTHER CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES ON THE.
TABLE.IF YOU OBTAINED
EVALUATED FOR EACH STD.
AS WELL AS YOUR PHYSICIAN SAID THE EXCELLENT NEWS IS YOU WEAR'' T HAVE.
CHLAMYDIA, YOU WOULDN'' T SAY THAT ' S ALL I 92ED TO HEAR. >> NO CONDOMS FOR THIS PERSON. > > THAT ' S GOING TO BE A
>> MEME. > > BUZZ FEED, I BELIEVE IT ' S FANTASTIC. WE THINK IT'' S TERRIFIC THAW WISHED TO AID, BUT THIS IS NOT WHAT WE.
REQUIRED FROM YOU. Y'' ALL AT BUZZ FEED, YOU DO MEMES.
AND ALSO LISTINGS. EVERYBODY HAS AN AUNT THAT HAS.
COCKROACHES AND ALSO EVERY THANKSGIVING SHE SAYS WHAT SHOULD I BRING AND ALSO.
WE RESEMBLE , ICE.YOU BRING THE
ICE BECAUSE WE.
DON'' T WISH TO PICK RAISINS OUT OF THE TURKEY. THAT'' S YOU, BUZZ FEED. YOU BRING THE ICE. AS DR. KING ONCE STATED, DON'' T GO GOING AFTER WATER DROPS. STICK TO THE RIVERS AND THE LAKES YOU ARE MADE USE OF TO. YOUNGSTERS COME NEAR ME AS WELL AS SAY I OBTAIN ALL MY NEWS FROM YOU. I CLAIM DON'' T DO THAT. I BRING THE ICE.
>>> > > > ANTHONY SCARAMUCCI WHO WORKED AS WHITE RESIDENCE.
COMMUNICATIONS SUPERVISOR FOR 2 WEEKS IS JOINING CELEBRITY BIG.
BROTHER AND ALSO SEAN SPICER IS THE POODLE. FRESHMAN REPRESENTATIVE ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ WILL BE.
PROVIDING LESSONS TO HER PREVIOUS DEMOCRAT ON HOW TO USE TWITTER.
MORE EFFECTIVE FOLLOWED BY CHUCK SCHUMER TEACHING ZUMBA.
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