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Hollywood’s version of childbirth bears little resemblance to my experience, or that of anyone else I know. On the screen, we almost always see soon-to-be-moms rushing to the hospital after a dramatic water breaking, a somewhat rare occurrence in real life, after which she howls and curses her way through a speedy labor and delivery. Then, poof, voilà!, her hair magically realigns itself, a healthy level of pigment returns to her cheeks, and she is in love, completely and irrevocably, with her baby.

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