i'm here in wisconsin land of beer cheese and real-life dystopian technology that's going to control your every move our wisconsin-based company three square market announced its plans to install rice-sized microchips in its employees that's right this company is shoving microchips into their employees and this movement is spreading worldwide in sweden thousands already have microchip implants that they use in their daily lives next thing you know we'll all be chipped i'm going to pull a harriet tubman to free these white people wait you know what i mean i had to put it into this evil technology before it dominates us all the removal wasn't gonna be pretty but luckily i spent a summer working as an unlicensed proctologist bend over i'm here to start your chip god what are you talking about the chip the chips they put in you i'm gonna take it out i volunteered you volunteered yeah what hey who else volunteered to get this ship emu black dude come on man so i sat face to face with the man responsible for running a company of chipped employees so where exactly is this chip implanted it's right there that's not where i thought y'all put it where did you think i put it that's not important so how did you convince your employees to let you brainwash them into getting chips in their hands because they saw that we could do something that truly could just change the world i literally can with the swipe of the hand do anything you can start your car with it make payments unlock doors i've been able to unlock doors my whole life i just go like this it's easier don't you think each other helping people become more lazy we already swipe everything i swipe on my phone and meet these menses i already paid with my phone why do i need a chip in my hand i'm never going to forget my hand it's always there hands are really easy to lose we've all been near a wood chipper too close to an industrial fan let's put it this way what if i could save your life let's say you have a heart issue let's say you have diabetes what about dementia what about a senior citizen that give them the peace of mind that at all times we know where they are that we can look at all their bodies that's a life alert patrick we already did this the lady's following us she can't get up push the foot somebody come get me but if that person's passed out they're not able to push that button wow that may have been an excellent point i wasn't fully convinced this is the only chip i want my body patrick so good just wait till you see what it can do what can it do you can buy snacks with a scan of your hand holy [ __ ] it works now i know this chip initially scared the hell out of me seeing it in action it's a game changer how do i get me one of these so basically we'll just clean it with this prep stick and then what i'll do is when i'm ready i'll push it in insert the chip itself pull it out and i'll put the cap back on and we are all done give me one give me one i was entering a new life where anything was possible like swiping right and left on men in real life [Music] having doors open for me this was the future but according to tech journalist ian sure i made a big mistake there's a lot of stuff we need to think about where this is going and what could happen as a result of it let me tell you how my life has changed so i've gotten this chip i can get snacks with the wave of hand i can start a car as soon as i buy a car all of this is great you get on board for being a hater playboy and that may be the case but whenever you put a foreign object into your body it can be dangerous not all objects look man think about how much time i'm saving in 20 years i probably saved five to eight minutes my point is that you have to actually take it out if you want to take it out i never thought about removing it would this be like a 127 hour situation i mean that's what you get for hiking by yourself james franco that's not the point what are like the worst worst case scenarios well people could go to extreme lengths to get your information and you could get charged for stuff that you didn't intend to buy this is hackable people could steal your information you may not even know when it's being accessed or for what people will be able to track you people are crazy someone could cut your hand off to use your chip because it's implanted you can't get away from it wait oh my god i mean this is the worst episode of black mirror ever and i saw the one with the pig i mean stealing other people's ships you gotta lose your hand air in your car or worst of all you think you're just dancing but you're buying items you put in your shopping cart when you were drunk [Music] maybe this will be the norm in the future and everyone will have a chipped hand but right now i'm not ready to be trapped or hacked i have to get rid of this thing [Music] give me strength jesus [Music] is [Music] foreign
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